Sunday 8 May 2011

Shitty Course Part 1 of 2

As you may or may not know, I'm unemployed, have been for a while. Not due to lack of trying, I apply for just about anything (there is a few things I cant do, either because of qualifications or 'health' reasons [for lack of a better word]).

Every once in a while, the Job Centre will send you on a course, to help you get back to work - These courses either consist of a work placement, doing a company's shit work for free or a course to help you find a job, doing a CV, application forms etc - This is the course I'm being sent on tomorrow.

Luckily, its only for one day, that's what I've been told anyway and I can tell what's going to happen even before I get there.

Step 1 - Power Point Presentation
They all have them, usually has the H&S stuff (see Step 1.5) but more often than not, its about what they do, how many people they have helped get a job, normally exaggerate, because they sometimes offer people part time/ad-hoc work, and they count these people. There tooting there own horn basically.


Step 1.5 - Health and Safety
All there H&S Shit, where the exits are and stuff like that... Meh, it has to be done

Step 2 - CV
They all ready phoned asking if I have a CV, which I do, but I know they are going to want me to make a new one, or they are going to make a new one for me. I'm not going to let them touch it, they can give me tips on what to add, but there not making a completely new one from scratch, every time I go to one of these courses, they make me a whole new CV, totally different from the last and it really annoys me. Infact, it could be that what is stopping me from getting a job...

Step 3 - Application Forms
The person taking the 'class' will then talk about application forms, how to fill them in, then probably give us all a mock application, then tell us all its wrong. Yeah, its not like we haven't all filled in an application before, though most places do online applications these days, so this exercise is a bit pointless.

Step 4 - Team Building
This is the bit about these courses that pisses me off the most, not because of the team building, I don't mind working in a team. Its the exercises they have us doing, this is where they treat you like a child! There all different, I've done posters about health eating, posters about bus and train times, posters about the job market, collages[correct spelling?] about random shit, I have even been told that one place had the people decorating eggs... What the fuck? Do they use Key Stage 2 books or something?

Step 5 - Job Search
Argh! This pisses me off too, not as much as the team building, but there is only so many times you can search the same websites, read the same news papers and flick through the yellow pages. I have been on a 14 week course where all it was, was job search, 9am to 4pm reading the same newspapers, looking at the same websites and flicking through the yellow pages. Honestly, once or twice a week, for a couple of hours is enough for 'focused' job search (there words, not mine)

Lucky, this course is only 1 days, or that's what I have been told, with a 10am start - Wish me luck

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